Letters from a Chinese American Granddaughter
The second in a three-part series, by a girl caught between cultures and looking for answers. Read Part One HERE. Read Part Three HERE.
By Sofia Yee (she/her)
Special to shades Magazine
It’s safe to say I am not a risk taker. Poor hand-eye coordination and a fear of being hit on the head are why I avoid any sports involving balls.
I was 15 before I went to my first overnight summer camp. The mere mention of debate tournaments makes me sweat. I’ve always wished I could be one of the brave, bold souls who jump at the chance to make waves – risk takers who are ready to face the unknown and its consequences.
I would characterize my grandparents as risk-averse. Their wariness and skepticism act as a shield against anything that could remotely be a threat. I see this in my grandparents every day. So gripped by the fear of the unknown that they refuse to travel any further than the grocery store, so stuck in their ways that they order the same two dishes on rotation from their favorite take-out spots.
Risk-averse mindsets go beyond physical danger and shape how people approach challenges and big steps in their lives. Growing up, my mom recalls her own mother advocating for stability as a life goal: a stable job, a stable income, a stable house and a stable home life.
While my grandma is justified in not wanting to break a hip, conservative mindsets in older adults might stem from being raised in an era that valued conformity over individualism. Proverbs like “Children should be seen and not heard” make it difficult for the older generation to accept change.
To this day, my grandma’s mantra to my grandpa has been a Chinese saying that roughly translates to “Don’t meddle in other people’s business if it doesn’t affect you.”
My grandmother’s inherent caution may be a product of the time and place she grew up in – beliefs that could not be shaken, even after she moved to the United States.
Where the older generation emphasizes caution and security, a new, young American generation is upholding individualism and risk-taking. It’s embedded in American history, from fighting for independence from the British to creating a brand-new democratic government. It’s reflected in students who boycott brands online, take to the streets in protest and walk out of school.
They were raised to speak up, pump their fists and rally when they see injustice. These risk takers have one thing in common: They don’t shy away from the unknown. And American society seems to value risk takers like entrepreneurs who invest their life savings with only a dream of making it big or artists who devote their lives to their craft.
My dad, raised in America, embodies some of these traits. If my grandmother champions stability at work, then my dad is the perfect example of climbing the American corporate ladder. He started his career as a factory worker, then a white-collar office worker, then a manager and then a director.
I remember a few years back when he was mulling over his next job promotion, and finally, one night, he decided to take the new job. I asked him what changed his mind and he said he thought of the “Hamilton” lyric, “I’m not throwin’ away my shot.”
Justifying a career decision with a song lyric seems outlandish, but it just goes to show how celebrated risk takers are in American culture.
I find it fascinating that my grandparents emphasize risk-aversion and caution when they themselves have taken the ultimate risk: Leaving their family, friends, everyone and everything they’ve ever known to come to America. My grandmother was brave enough to pack up three small children, leave her job and move to a foreign country that she had only ever read about in books. And she and my grandfather were terrified when they arrived in a country without the ability to communicate with anyone.
Whenever asked why she did it, her answer stays the same: “We came so the kids could go to school and live better than we did.”
If I look at my family, the line dividing risk takers and risk averters is not so clear. Sometimes, people just do what’s best for those they love.
When a grandmother begs her son to avoid danger, she only wishes for his safety. When young climate activists lobby at the Capitol and take to the streets, they do it for the promise of a better future for our planet. Maybe we all have a little risk-taking spirit at heart. After all, I can sprint across finish lines at cross country races, plan overnight trips with friends and, with shaking knees and trembling hands, speak at a podium with pride.
Though I am far from fearless, I have become familiar with risk – once an enemy, now a friend.
Sofia Yee (she/her) will begin her first year at Pomona College in California the fall 2026 majoring in English and Math. Connect with Sofia on LinkedIn.
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