VOICES: Balancing the state of being
By Helen Branham, shades contributor
My colleague asked me to describe my feelings during this most unprecedented and historical time of COVID-19.
She asked me, “How are you managing? What impact has it had on the family unit?”
Quite frankly, it has disturbed my sense of security and safety. COVID-19 has fractured my logic of “balance.” When I stand up, although I am standing, I feel like I am falling … off the cliff.
You see, I have vertigo.
For those of us who have experienced vertigo, you can relate. For those who haven’t, it can be described as an overwhelming feeling of dizziness one feels when turning in a circle, uncontrollably with no walls or padding, spiraling out of control, like in the movie “Twister.” A merry-go-round with no safety net, and a feeling that is NOT so merry.
As you can tell, I’m feeling pretty melancholy right now, but it is not always this way. But today, at this writing, it is. There are other times that I, thankfully, have high-spirited moments.
Recently, a close family member who lives in Detroit contracted COVID-19. I was scared out of my wits and I was fearful. And while these feelings became intensified over the days and weeks, so did my prayers. In the end, my family was blessed and spared the heartache that so many other families were NOT. My relative survived this elusive, evasive, all encompassing and “mysterious stranger.” She emerged on the other side.
So, in response to my colleague’s questions, “How are you managing?” and “What impact has it had on the family unit?,” my answers are simple. It has disrupted my sense of balance. It has disturbed my sense of safety and security. This mysterious stranger has destabilized my life with a vertigo feeling … all the time.
On the other hand, COVID-19 has forced me to become more introspective. It has made me appreciate my family differently and get to know them all over again, differently. It has demanded more intimate, conversational moments together. It re-educated me to value the small simple things in life. It taught me humility, tolerance, patience and creativity. It forced me to spend time with myself, with my family and with each other.
And in some ways – in spite of ourselves – it is propelling us to reach new heights.
Helen Branham provides small businesses with consulting services through her own company, The Saba Group. She is founder of Enterprising Women!, a training program for Women of Color in small business to enhance their skills for business growth and community empowerment. She was recognized by the San Francisco Foundation at their “Women Changing the World” event.
Original post date: 5/31/20