{"id":259,"date":"2023-04-09T10:46:51","date_gmt":"2023-04-09T17:46:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/maginecreativeservices.com\/shadesmagazine2023\/?p=259"},"modified":"2023-06-28T13:51:36","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T20:51:36","slug":"more-than-the-color-of-my-skin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maginecreativeservices.com\/shadesmagazine2023\/more-than-the-color-of-my-skin\/","title":{"rendered":"black sons"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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MORE THAN THE COLOR OF MY SKIN<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By Michelle Fitzhugh-Craig, shades Magazine<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m tired, Y’all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m tired of not sleeping well at night. I\u2019m tired of hearing helicopters circle my house for hours on end. I\u2019m worn out from not only having one pandemic to deal with, but now a second virus has boiled to the surface. <\/p>\n\n\n

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shades publisher Michelle Fitzhugh-Craig with sons\u00a0(from left)\u00a0Lawrence and Lorenzo.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

And most importantly \u2013 something I didn\u2019t realize until this past week \u2013 is I\u2019m tired of living inside skin that makes me a target. Skin that makes people who look like me a target \u2026 that puts a bull\u2019s eye on my two sons who over the last decade especially, are being more openly hunted by some merely because of the color of their skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve known for almost five decades that racism existed, even though it was never \u201cin my face.\u201d I grew up in Glendale, Arizona, where my parents did a good job of shielding me and my siblings from the \u201creal world.\u201d They weren\u2019t Pollyanna \u2026 they just wanted a better life for their children. They wanted to not weigh us down with the burdens they knew were there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad \u2013 a career military man \u2013 grew up in the Deep South; Mom \u2013 a teacher \u2013 primarily in Northern California \u2026 both in the 1930s to 1950s. We were taught love and equality for all and that we should never hate another. There was not much talk of prejudices that others had as the communities we were raised in were pretty diverse. But when we were each old enough, we were made aware they existed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I grew older, I learned more about racism and heard stories that proved that although slavery had ended close to 150 years earlier, the hate and privilege some people wore as badges of honor still existed. I heard stories of draggings, modern-day lynchings and of the Ku Klux Klan burning crosses. And when my Uncle Jr. died and Dad traveled with my young sister back to Macon, Georgia, to bury him, I instinctively knew I didn\u2019t want to go. I was afraid to venture into a part of the country I\u2019d only heard scary stories about. A region where my skin color was not celebrated by all.<\/p>\n\n\n

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I chose to attend a Catholic high school in Phoenix where I was the only one of no more than five black students at any time. During my freshman year, my world was emotionally shattered when I went to my first dance and no one asked me to dance. The event followed our football game against a team from Mexico City whose players only looked at me and passed me by, similar to the boys in my school. I had plenty of friends and got along with my fellow students \u2026 but no one asked me to dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again I instinctively knew, it was because I didn\u2019t look like everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the next four years, I often felt isolated. It is difficult to fully explain why; it\u2019s just an awareness most People of Color experience \u2013 when in the vast minority \u2013 that they are \u201cdifferent.\u201d I had many friends, was on the pom line, on the yearbook and newspaper staffs and enjoyed my high school years. But there was something stirring in me \u2026 a voice that said I mattered, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the next 30 years, I was immersed in educating myself, my four now grown children and anyone who would listen. I joined nonprofit boards and organizations that promoted equality. I created projects that highlighted and celebrated underrepresented communities \u2013 especially those of Color. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then in 2016,  probably the most loved President of all time left office, making way for a \u201cregime\u201d that proved to the world what People of Color have been saying all along \u2013 racism is alive and well in the United States of America. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you still have doubts, look at just the last four weeks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n